Let's be frank....

Let me set the scene for you. Yest. I decided that I would visit the Plaza Thrift Store in McKinney since it's been about 2 months since I've been "thrifting". I meet my friend Heather there at 11am. Immediately upon entering Luke notices the "Ca". Sitting on top of the shelf. He proceeds for the next 20 minutes to cry profusely and scream, "CA, CA, CA" "Momma, CA CA CA". I must admit I've become quite adept as a mom at distracting techniques. I thought I'd be able to do the same in this situation. I tried the "Hold this toy" technique the "Sit in the shopping basket and play with a hanger" technique the, "Please stop crying and drink your juice" technique. After a full 20 minutes of stares from onlookers who probably swore I was abusing my child on aisle 7 I succumbed to the pressure and did what I swore I would never do when I had kids. I gave in to his demands and I BOUGHT THE DAMN CA!!! ONLY...after I tried every other thing in my power to soothe the pathetic little "CA" whine, cry and snot ridden nose of my 20 month old. I went over and took it off the shelf. Wheeled it to the checkout counter. With the help of a total stranger pushing my cart to the cashier while I wheeled the "CA". Thinking the problem was solved I continued shopping while I left the "CA" at the counter to pay when I was finished with the rest of my shopping. Well....evidently Mommy isn't smart enough to realize that Luke can't understand the concept of "she's buying it for me--IN A MINUTE". He proceeds to pitch another fit and cry uncontrollably without consolation from "Aunt Heather" too. We even switched carts. I thought maybe she could soothe him so I gave her my cart and I pushed angelically sleeping Sheppie around for a little while. Well....the crys only got louder and I felt bad that now everyone was staring at "Aunt Heather". With another "mommy solution" I wheeled sleeping angel Sheppie to the front counter and got the "CA", met Heather mid-aisle and traded off. One crying child for an angelically sleeping one. I put Luke in the "CA" and Heather pulled my basket and Sheppie's stroller while I wheeled my son around in the "CA" so I could continue shopping. Had Heather not been there my trip would have been cut short. But since I really wanted to continue to peruse the aisle's with a calm and collected child this had become my ONLY OPTION. The minute he got in the car he stopped crying and the smile that I usually see on his cute little face became radiant once more. We paid for the merchandise and loaded up the car....But wait it get's better. As I loaded the "CA" into the back of the Expedition I realized that I had evidently overlooked the fact that the "CA's" "gas tank" was full of fire ants. I closed the self contained gas cap and went on my way. Upon arrival home I left the "CA" in the "CA" and let Jason retreive it when he got home from work. I said,"Oh, Jason go get the new little car out of my trunk and put it on the patio so Luke can ride". He did, and got Luke all situated to ride the car when HE noticed the fireants crawling all over the car. Out Luke goes, into the house he puts him while he douses the car with fireant killer spray. By this time Luke's tantrum "in the house" mind you is worse than the initial "I want CA" one at the thrift store. He has NO IDEA why daddy put him in the house, why daddy is giving his "CA" a "CA-WASH" and believes he'll never again be able to ride it. After "CA" is fully submerged, all ants killed and flushed from the "CA". I dry off the "CA" and let Luke back in it. He was happy, we were happy and gosh dang it....his infatuation with steering wheels and anything resembling car continues......Lesson learned from this???? 1. Sometimes as a parent you'll do anything to get your kid to shut up in a store when you have a shopping agenda. 2. Never say, "Oh, I'll never do that when I have kid's" 3. Stay off the sidewalk because another minority driver has gotten his learner's permit. Let's be frank....be on the lookout in your neighborhood for a red car with "Ant-KillR" plates and a smiling baby boy...